The first time that I watched Fuck Yeah Levi Karter I didn’t know what to expect. I was excited for a new Levi scene and as I pushed play I expected it to be similar to what I had already come to love about him and Cockyboys. However, as I pushed play and watched him do flips on the screen that every so slowly turned to him having phone sex I knew it was going to be something special. After the disco like entry I realized just how different it was going to be. I smiled and cried as I watched it, especially knowing some of the moments first hand.
Since that day I have watched it numerous times, both in full and bits and pieces. I never thought that it would be featured at any type of festival. I had wished that I could make it to Berlin Porn Festival, but couldn’t so when I heard that it was going to be featured at the NYC Porn Festival I jumped on the chance to see Levi’s creative work on a huge screen!
When Jake Jaxson invites you to New York City, you find a way to make it happen. Especially if that means I get to see Levi just before Christmas!
It took some scheduling, but I made it happen. I was so excited the night before I couldn’t sleep, passing out for a quick nap before taking a cab to the airport at 4:30am. I was so nervous about flying by myself, but without a glitch I was on the plane at 6am and headed to NYC with a quick layover in Detroit.
I have a 7 year old son. He has ADHD, an amazing imagination, makes me laugh and makes me cry.
I have a 21 year old Pon. He has ADHD, an amazing spirit, makes me laugh and makes me cry.
I gave birth to one, luckily stumbled across the other and both have changed my life in amazing ways.
I am a writer. I am inspired by everything around me, the little moments that no one notices and the grand gestures that the whole world sees. I am inspired by words, thoughts, sounds and images. Sometimes it’s a line that turns into something massive. Sometimes it’s just a passing quote that eats at me until I can release it into the world.
I’ve seen this picture countless times, yet when I saw it last week it spoke to me. I wrote the words below to go with it, from Levi’s point of view. These words are a mix of all the guys in the business and the internal struggle that they most likely face.
Thank you RJ Sebastian for capturing this moment. I can only hope that my words do justice to your image.
I am him, and he is me. Yet we are still two different people. Our edges are blurry, where the glass meets reality and we start to blend together and separate at the same time. We balance each other out and pull each other apart. It’s an internal and external struggle I deal with on a daily basis. Some days I wish it wasn’t this way, other days I wouldn’t change a thing. I want to be him and he wants to be me. We both want to be loved. I look at him and all the guilt in my life floods my mind. He looks at me and sees all the regret. But when we stand together we are stronger than we ever imagined, ready to take on the world and everything that comes with it.
The pieces of my heart live all over the world. The biggest pieces live within Corbin, Levi and My sissy Jess. When I have two of them in the same place with me I am so much happier, so much more alive, so much more me. If I ever get all three of them together, well it will be total bliss.
The happiness and contentment that I felt in Chicago was amazing, and left me with such a low and depressed state that it took me almost 2 weeks to recover. The only thing that pulled me out that quickly was the idea of seeing Levi and Sissy at Columbus Pride.
I almost didn’t make it to Pride. An admission to the hospital the weekend before made it really iffy. The doctors said yes, so I was set to go, I thought. I encountered many hassles with attempting to rent a car and an almost total break down at the car rental place. I convinced my husband to let me have the car for the weekend and his brother agreed to drive him where he needed to go. So I hit the road, the five hour drive, by myself to Columbus, OH. Continue Reading
Life happens when you are not expecting it. When you are looking the other way it totally blindsides you. For me, most of the time, it’s just one more thing for me to worry about, another stressor that I don’t need.
A year ago, I was blindsided by something amazing.
I still remember the night one of my best friends showed me Jake Bass. He is the gateway drug into Cockyboys. It was an instant obsession. Until Episode 2 of Roadstrip was released. Somewhere in the promoting of the release Jake Jaxson tweeted this picture…
I wrote about being a porn mom. I was honest and truthful. I said things that I knew not everyone would agree with and when I posted it I was so nervous.
I expected hate. I expected everyone coming at me, being attacked and the fighting to start about who owned what porn star. I knew I’d have loyal friends who understood where I was coming from and that they would be there to help me deal with any backlash.
Reality, once again, wasn’t what I expected.